


In My Dreams Our Story Goes On

by Ailette



Series: Changes [2]
Category: Sexy Zone
Genre: B.I.Shadow - Freeform, Dreaming, Imported, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-29
Updated: 2012-10-03
Packaged: 2018-06-05 06:23:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6693028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailette/pseuds/Ailette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reality is cruel and cold after what he is allowed to see and feel in his dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kento is absently humming a song he couldn’t get out of his head lately, title forgotten, his entire focus on chopping up the vegetables in front of him. So of course, when suddenly two arms snaked their way around his waist, he jumped, letting go of the knife reflexively.

“Oops,” Fuma says behind him and Kento exhales, playfully knocking against Fuma as if to shove him off.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that! I’d like my fingers to stay on my hand and not be part of dinner.”

Fuma tightens his grip around him, easily pulling Kento back against his chest so he can rest his head on his shoulder. “Sorry. Didn’t see what you were doing. Please don’t chop off any body parts.”

Comfortably leaning into Fuma’s warmth, Kento laughs as he picks the knife back up to return to the task at hand. “Think about it first, next time, then.”

“Mh.” For long moments they remain like they are, Kento preparing the vegetables and Fuma molded to his back, watching every move of his fingers in silence. Of course it can’t last forever and Kento almost laughs again when Fuma, predictably, gets bored and starts playing with the ribbon of his apron.

“Don’t like it?” Kento asks and shoots Fuma a quick look before dropping some tomatoes into a bowl.

“Nah,” Fuma says and presses a quick kiss against the side of his neck. “I might even ask you to put it on again later.”

His intentions are clear and Kento has to smile as he finally gives in and turns around in Fuma’s embrace, his own arms linking themselves behind the taller boy’s neck as he looks up at him lovingly.

“I don’t think that’s what it was intended for.”

Fuma grins, ducking his head for a moment and when he raises it again, his features have turned soft; the smile on his lips taking Kento’s breath away. He doesn’t say anything; but then, he doesn’t need to. The warmth in his eyes as he regards Kento in his arms, the  way he raises one hand to stroke Kento’s cheek before leaning in to gently kiss him; it’s all Kento needs to know that he is loved.

He sighs, utterly content in this very moment. It’s perfect, the way they fit together, the way Fuma makes him feel, the pure happiness at being together like this.

Perfect.

 

Kento sighs, a smile tugging the corners of his lips upward before he can even open his eyes. When he does, he sees the white linen of the hotel bed and sluggishly wonders about that. He’s not in the kitchen. Why isn’t he in the kitchen? Then there’s a snuffle behind him and suddenly, the bubble of satisfaction that held him abruptly bursts to drop him back into reality. He gasps quietly, feeling like his heart sets out for a few beats; the sensation painful enough to clear his sleepy head completely.

He _woke up_.

That kitchen doesn’t exist.

He’d been dreaming. All of that – all those things, all those feelings - they hadn’t been real. He blinks, unprepared for the onslaught of anger he feels next. Why would he dream something like that? For his mind to conjure up a domestic scene like that…

But it had been good – perfect. His eyes are suddenly stinging and, angry at himself, Kento abruptly sits up, the blanket falling of his shoulders and an arm falling from his hip.

He looks down to see Fuma next to him and for a moment hates their sleeping arrangement when Fuma makes some sort of sleepy noise as he blinks his eyes open, clearly having been disturbed by Kento’s rash movement. On the other bed in the room, Hokuto turns around and almost shoves Yugo off the bed the two of them share. He wonders if their dreams are anything like his and envies them for being allowed to stay in their dreams for a little while longer.

His attention is drawn back to the clueless boy beside him as Fuma also sits up, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn. When he meets Kento’s gaze, he chuckles, still not properly awake and mumbles “Morning”.

Kento can only nod and stare as Fuma stretches some more before finally gathering the energy to get up and leave the bed. Without thinking, Kento quickly reaches out to catch his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

“Mh?”

Fuma looks at him, eyes slowly opening further as he curiously watches Kento. Kento, who sits on the bed, hand wrapped tightly around his friend’s wrist and unable to do anything but stare at it. _Let go_ , he tells himself. _It was a dream, you’re behaving strangely. Let go_.

“You wanna go first?” Fuma finally asks, tilting his head in confusion when Kento only vehemently shakes his head. _Let go_.

Finally, Kento manages to look up, his mouth opening before he has the slightest idea of what he wants to say. No, that’s a lie. He knows exactly what he wants to say.

_Stay_. _Stay and take me in your arms again like you did just now_.

But with the confused look Fuma is giving him, Kento bites his lip. Again, much softer this time, he shakes his head. _Let go_ , he commands himself for the last time and, eventually, his fingers loosen and as if suddenly, there is no more strength left in them, they slide off of Fuma’s arm.

“No, it’s nothing,” he says, quietly, and Fuma blinks at him, obviously still confused, but then just shrugs  and turns away to finally slink off towards the bathroom. Kento continues to just sit there dumbly, looking at the door until he hears the shower starting up and buries his face in his hands. He shouldn’t feel like this. Like he’d just had his heart broken by Fuma. He knows he shouldn’t; it’s unreasonable.

But still, all he wants to do is get up, follow Fuma into the bath and find his place in his arms again, to return to that haven of love and happiness. It’s unbearably hard to resist that urge and remain where he is.

Instead, he gets up, gathers his clothes, and quickly leaves the room to use the common bath room at the end of the hallway. To get as far away from the reality in front of him as possible.

***

Kento can tell Fuma is looking at him and does his best to stare at the plate in front of him. He’s not sure what he’ll do if he meets Fuma’s eyes right now. After what happened this morning, he’s seriously doubting his self-control – and maybe his sanity. What had he been thinking? Grabbing Fuma like that.

After such odd behavior it’s no wonder Fuma keeps shooting him weird looks from across the table. It probably hadn’t helped that he’d basically fled the scene straight afterwards. He hides a sigh by taking a sip of orange juice and tries to tune in to whatever Hokuto is animatedly telling them. It must be a good story, considering half of Hey!Say!Jump! have wandered over from their separate table to listen.

But, continuing what is apparently going to be this day’s theme, his brain is telling him one thing and his body does another. So now he carefully glances up, to find that Fuma’s eyes have settled elsewhere. He can feel his heartbeat picking up and hastily looks down again. If they were to meet eyes, he’s sure that he would give himself away. Maybe leap across the table and kiss Fuma right then and there, hold onto him until Fuma encircles him in his arms again like he did in his dreams.

Only of course, that’s not how it would go.

It hasn’t been easy recently, to be around Fuma. When his heart keeps beating out a quick rhythm whenever Fuma smiles at him, when he finds himself unable to concentrate and instead watching whatever silly thing Fuma is doing in meetings where he really ought to be listening, when he wonders and questions every little move and gesture of Fuma’s; wondering if it holds any meaning beyond what it appears to be.

But now, now it feels infinitely harder to be around him. Because now he feels like he knows what it would be like, actually being with Fuma, being loved by Fuma. And reality suddenly seems so much colder and lonelier; it’s almost unbearable now. It’s unfair.

Everyone looks at him when he suddenly gets up, his chair scratching loudly across the floor and he wants to curse. Instead, he awkwardly smiles and apologizes before he hurries off. He needs to clear his head. They are going to see each other the entire day and are bound to spend the next three days together as well. But with the state of mind he’s in, that will be impossible to handle.

He imagines that he can feel Fuma’s gaze burning into his quickly retreating back and it’s impossibly difficult to calmly keep on walking until he knows he’s out of sight.

Only even after he’s outside, the feeling doesn’t subside. He tells himself that it’s because he’s running away again and not for any other reason.

Not because he’s got a bad feeling about Fuma having found out already.


	2. Chapter 2

Walking around outside really did help. Kento still feels heartbroken (and ridiculous for that), but at least he can concentrate. He even makes it to rehearsal exactly on time, Yabu clapping him on the back in passing and congratulating him on using his free time up to the very last second. It makes him smile a little.

Hokuto and Yugo are already warming up or, well, they’re _moving_ , anyway (it seems more like they’re playing tag with some of the other Juniors). He discreetly tries to look around as he drops off his bag in the corner, but Fuma is nowhere to be seen. That’s odd, he thinks to himself. Fuma is usually just as hell-bent on being punctual as he is.

But this time, the choreographer arrives and herds them into their respective positions. They’re all the way through the first song before the door finally opens and the other boy slides in, hurriedly making his way across the back towards them.

“Where were you?” Hokuto asks curiously, but Fuma only shakes his head.

Their eyes meet and Kento tilts his head, clearly indicating that he also wants to know why Fuma showed up late. Something odd happens, then. Instead of giving some kind of answer, Fuma’s lips stretch into a thin line and he quickly averts his eyes.

The music starts up again at that moment though, so Kento doesn’t have the time to inquire or wonder about it. He puts it up to his imagination for now. It’s hard enough to follow along to the rhythm as it is and it’s not like he isn’t already worrying about a million things.

Only even when the music stops again, even when they’re done with the current choreography, even when break starts, even when they all file out of the room after rehearsal ends; Fuma doesn’t look at him. He doesn’t try to strike up a conversation as the four of them make their way up to their room; instead he very obviously always walks a good few steps in front of Kento, talking to Hokuto the entire time.

Kento is biting his lip, wondering if Fuma is mad at him about fleeing this morning (twice) or if he’s really… figured it out. Figured _him_ out. A cold shudder runs down his spine at the mere thought.

Maybe it’s better to give Fuma some space.

***

It’s surprisingly not that hard to get away from someone when there are about another fifty people around, but he still finds his eyes wandering over to where Fuma is sitting next to Takaki outside, talking quickly and laughing when Takaki says something. Kento can’t hear a word they’re saying because he’s sitting inside, squished together with a bunch of the other Juniors on a big lounge sofa. Yugo is sitting next to him and it takes him awfully long to realize that while he has been staring mournfully outside, Yugo is curiously watching him and has been doing so for the last couple of minutes.

Finally, he turns his head towards his group mate. “….yes?”

Yugo grins. It’s the really bright and proud I-figured-out-what’s-going-on-here grin and Kento knows he’s in trouble before the words come. “You’ve got a crush!”

Kento feels his face heat up rapidly as he hisses out, “I do not!”

“You do and you know it,” Yugo scoffs, then crosses his arms and takes a long moment to muster him. “Crushes are _good_. What are you being all gloomy for?”

Kento squirms in his seat.

Yugo raises his eyebrows at him. “Did you come on to him and he turned you down?”

“Of course not,” Kento bursts out indignantly. The mere thought is ridiculous. He doesn’t even have the courage to go and ask Fuma why he’s avoiding him just because he’s too afraid of the answer. How could he possibly go and act on his feelings?

His anger quickly dissipates though, while Yugo is still watching him. He’s not really surprised, Kento realizes, and he doesn’t seem to mind, either. So, quietly, he says, “I can’t tell him.”

Another moment passes where Yugo just stares at him. Then, suddenly, gasps loudly and Kento swears that being around comedians so often has made Yugo incapable of reacting inconspicuously. “ _No way_! It’s not just a crush!”

Several heads turn towards them and Kento hits him, none too gently, in the shoulder and shushes him. Chinen is only a few rows away from them and Kento really does not need that sort of trouble on top of everything else. Luckily, Yugo also seems to remember where they are now and returns to the hushed tone of voice they’d been using before.

“It’s not a crush! You’re properly in lo-”

“Shut _up_!”

The pat on his shoulder doesn’t really make him feel better, but he appreciates Yugo’s obvious sympathy.

“That’s more difficult, then.”

He wonders when exactly Yugo went from the nervous new kid to the observant responsible one, but is silently thankful all the same. They’re both looking outside now to the carelessly talking pair.

When Kento finds his voice again after some long moments, it’s unusually small. “I think he knows. I did something weird this morning and then…” He turns to Yugo with big eyes. “He’s not even talking to me anymore.”

Yugo doesn’t answer, only nods and worries his bottom lip between his teeth. And really, what is he supposed to say to that? Kento’s happy enough with the fact that his friend’s not judging him. Just talking about it, admitting it out loud for the first time makes him feel relieved. It’s unexpected, but a welcome change after doing nothing but worry since he got up.

Yugo pats his shoulder again and gives an oddly encouraging smile that, even more surprisingly, really does calm him down further. When Yugo’s gaze wanders away again, Kento carefully settles back into the couch and they both listen to Shintaro and his brother quibble over one thing or another. Maybe it’s okay not to worry for just a little while.

***

It’s already late when, the next day, they finally make their way upstairs. Rehearsal went on for longer than expected and they’re all just about ready to collapse into bed and get all the rest they can before the actual concerts start tomorrow.  So it comes as a surprise when Yugo suddenly stops in the doorway and grabs Hokuto’s arm to drag him back out of their room.

“We’re going over to Yasui’s room with the others. Might be a couple of hours before we come back,” Yugo announces cheerfully.

It’s very obviously something he decided on his own, because Hokuto is looking at him like he’s grown another head and whining that he just wants to sleep already. But Yugo somehow manages to work in a threatening glare with his grin which makes Hokuto shut up instantly and kicks the door shut behind them after a quick wave and a thumps-up in Kento and Fuma’s direction.

Kento stands there, too perplexed and a little too afraid to turn around right now. Fuma still hasn’t so much as looked at him the entire day (and even bullied Hokuto into switching beds with him last night). The longest he’s seen him today was when Yugo kidnapped him an hour or so ago and they had to walk past him on their way out of the dining hall.

What should he do now? Just try and make conversation? Or actually use this opportunity to try and talk to Fuma about… things. Or maybe just flee to the bathroom and then go to sleep immediately?

He turns around, still undecided, when he realizes that Fuma is standing almost directly behind him; staring at him. He doesn’t have long to take in the situation before it changes. Abruptly, Fuma takes a short step forward, closing the distance between them, and takes him in his arms.

Kento inhales sharply, automatically trying to break free, but immediately stops struggling when Fuma’s grip only tightens.

“What are you doing?” he asks, breathless and terrified.

“You’ve been looking completely miserable for the last two days,” Fuma says and his breath is tickling Kento’s ear with the way they’re standing.

 “I thought it was my fault, so I left you alone for a bit. But I can’t remember having done anything.”

Kento can’t help it; his fingers are crawling around Fuma’s back and clinging on; even as his eyes are tightly closed. He feels small, enveloped in Fuma’s arms. Their difference in height is not usually very noticeable, but, like this…

“What did I do?”

Kento wants to laugh at how ridiculous that question is. How absurd it is for Fuma to sound so hurt when he asks it.

“Nothing,” Kento says quietly. It takes courage to add, “Which is sort of the reason.”

“Mmh.” He can feel Fuma’s chest vibrating with that sound. “Kouchi said that, too. And that you needed a hug.”

He can’t remember ever having felt more grateful than he does right this moment and absently makes a mental note to thank Yugo later. But for now, he only breathes in deeply, muscles relaxing as he’s being held in strong arms. It’s a little surreal; they’ve never done something like this before. They hug and they touch and they get close to each other, but this different. Different in the way it feels so intimate, different in the way neither of them lets go. It’s only when Fuma starts speaking again that Kento realizes the reason: there are still things that need to be said.

“He also said that you’ve got something to tell me.”

Breathing suddenly doesn’t seem all that necessary anymore. His hands clench the fabric of Fuma’s shirt tighter.

“I’m-”

If he wants to get any kind of certainty, to move on from this hopeless love, he will eventually have to confess. The last two days were proof that things can’t go on like this forever. He’s driving himself insane and a wedge between him and Fuma; destroying a friendship he values more than he can put into words. He exhales deeply.

“Yes.” He feels the little courage he has gathered slip through his fingers like tiny grains of sand. “But…” If only they could stop time right now. This is better than his dreams; Fuma a real and solid warmth around him, shielding him from the world.

“Can we not… right now?” he finally whispers.

He can feel the sigh even when he can’t hear it and wonders it it’s of relief or disappointment.

“Alright. Not today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Originally posted at http://ailette.livejournal.com/74615.html)

**Author's Note:**

> (Originally posted at http://ailette.livejournal.com/73900.html)


End file.
